$5.90 and a bunch of Ducks.

$5.90 and a bunch of Ducks.
      What do they have in common? Everything. I rode my bike down to the creek and there were so many ducks swimming and living together within feet of each other, yet never bothering one another and at the same time giving lots of space. So I was wondering to myself why is it so hard for us humans to do the same. Very curious indeed.
      Some evenings late at night I sit on my porch and listen to people laughing, crying, and sometimes screaming and fighting. I believe that we can all live with one another and still get along. I also realized after a falling out with my wife and leaving the house again and finding myself with a school of ducks that there was something here that I was missing in all of this. That sometimes we must have space to think about things and how we act, as opposed to reacting all the time. So needless to say I had to get some space so that I can think and get my head together again. While walking, hurt and angry at myself, I suddenly realized where I was at in my life. Kind of like a life inventory,  I decided nowhere and everywhere, going around in circles like my duck friends who were getting along just fine except for me and mine. I started to get a little dejected again, I guess being married and in a relationship for a decade and a half while pursuing your dreams and then seeing them crumble and rebuild itself again and again is something I don’t know how to deal with all the time. So as usual I don’t like to think about my problems, and I have to escape in someway, run away. I have been doing that since I was young kid.
     When I got to the store I realized that all I had was 5.90 to my name. At this point I knew I was not going to get very far. lol! I have been in situation time and time again. No job, no money, broke, hungry, wishing I had a warm safe place to stay the night. Somebody who cares about me and loves me even though I was so messed up.  These last 15 years of my life after meeting my wife and being adopted into her family.
I have been accustomed to living normally, feeling what it means to have a family again, and sleeping in a bed and having all that I wished for in life. Never being hungry, never having to go back to jail and spend another night on a cold concrete floor. 
     So in closing, it didn’t matter that I only had 5.90. Because my freedom and spending time with my duck friends are priceless. So was returning home to my wife and asking her to forgive me for being so immature.
I am blessed everyday that I am free and alive.
-sadmonk