Awakening.

A spiritual awakening can come at any time, not necessarily through our
spiritual practice and meditation but through real life experiences that turn our world
and lives upside down. In this awakening we are called forth to
turn everything back around. Master Hua would say that in our ignorance is darkness,
and the awakening is the light that is shed on our consciousness when we come
to understand the truth. The truth of who we are and our place in this world.
-sadmonk

"How I turned it around."

I came close to dying more times then I can count.
The hardest time was my 2 heart infections.
I lived only through the help of others, family and friends.
The doctors and hospitals saved my life even the jails and prisons did.
I feel the only reason I am still alive is to give back to society
and others in someway. I have always felt like a parasite in this world.
Taking without ever giving.
That was the day I woke up. I am not the same person I once was.
I lived my early life by not caring about myself or what I did.
Sure everyone has a lot of suffering to deal with in this life,
but when I was young I couldn't get over my dad and sister dying.
It's not an excuse but just what happened.  I couldn't cope with my
feelings and emotions. I became numb to the world.
I got into drugs and spent the next decade getting into trouble
as a homeless junkie in between group homes, juvenile, jails,
institutions and the penitentiary. It was all my choice and my fault.
How I survived and came through it all is a long story.
I lost everything, my family, my self, my life,
I had nothing. I spent much of my life wandering around in a
drug induced daze.  No hope, no faith in anything much less myself.
That was when I found it all! It was all inside of me, I learned to believe in myself.
All I had to do was master myself and let go of everything.
I became an artist and sold my art all over the world.
I became a Buddhist and felt a calling to serve others.
I felt my heart change and I continually cry to this day at the
worlds suffering giving all of my heart, prayers n love to everyone.
The  point of this blog is to show you that whatever you set your
heart n mind too you can accomplish it. You can change yourself if you
feel it needs changing. In my experience thats all there is
in life.
I am not someone to look up to in anyway, but maybe you can see that
we all make mistakes and bad choices and yes do things that cause
hurt to others.The most important thing is to change it.
Old Chinese saying, "If you made a mistake do all you can to reverse it.
" I live by this saying. Most importantly never give up on yourself and
have no fear! No retreat. You are a true warrior of love n light.
The Buddha said a true warrior learns to conquer themselves.
Then to turn it all around and build yourself back up again.
Whether your world has been torn apart by other forces,
or by your very own hand.
My hands wish to heal and create now.
deeply bowing
All my Love n Light!
-sadmonk

My Past.

I came up out of the system and penitentiary, got off the streets and turned my life around. I never thought it was possible and very few people believed I could change. I did. I stopped being a junkie and cleaned up. Traded the needle in for a paintbrush. Traded my sadness and suffering into loving kindness towards self and others.
I stopped stealing and lying and hurting all those I loved. I didn’t do anything great or special.
I did what anyone would do, change there life around to good.
If I didn’t, I would have died and been in a cage for the rest of my life like so many of my friends. I pray for them everyday, I am grateful to be alive and free.
-sadmonk

Zen is Mind.

The mind is always moving. In Zen we learn to still the moving mind, otherwise known as the monkey mind.
Hence we meditate (zazen). To still & sit the mind. Otherwise our minds run away with us
and we are no longer true to ourselves and others. We cannot think and reason when our minds are all over the place, here and there one minute, gone the next. We cannot focus and concentrate and lose our interest every moment due to a mind that cannot stop, look and listen. Let us work to change this immediately.
Mind makes unending karma, to reverse this do not let your mind be moved.
Be still. As a Buddha. A mind that is still is not stopping, not moving and flows endlessly like a river to the great ocean. Buddhas minds are always at peace with all things. Let your mind be like water, calm, and still when the winds are not moving. When the water of your mind becomes stirred up by the wind (karma) you cannot see the reflection of yourself much less others. Meditating we look into our own minds and shine the light within.
Everything becomes perfectly clear.
Still.
Everything is as it should be.
_/\_ Love. Light.
-sadmonk

Stop War, Go Love.

We should care for everyone’s plight in life.
For everyone has to suffer. No one is immune.
No matter where we come from or where we live.
So I ask all people to come together and stop
humanities endless wars. Stop!
Start loving everyone and caring for everyone.
Most of all forgiving anyone who has harmed us in anyway.
If we wish to live in peace amongst those we call our "enemies"
then and only then will we have no more enemies.
For the sake of all beings and this planet earth. It is up to us.
We all have the ability to live and love in peace, equality,
tolerance, forgiveness, loving- kindness.
We cannot change the whole world but we can change ourselves.
In so doing the world will one day be a peaceful place for all.
All because we started to help others and stopped hating & fighting.
While wishing all good things for everyone.
~metta _/\_
-sadmonk

Hsin(xin)- Heart/Mind

My HeartMind doesn't separate people, places or things anymore.
We are all the same.
When you see differences in everything,
you become blind to your self, others and the world around you.
When you see the sameness of all. Your eyes open
And you can once again see.
Awakened.
That we are all a part of everything.
That makes us one.
_/\_
-sadmonk

Change.

We are the change we wish to see in this world.
Everything is connected. Change is all there is.
We must all do our part to live more simply.
I wish that people would stop eating and hunting the animals, and all beings from the oceans and planet.
The earth is being destroyed due to over consumption and greed. We must change this.
Stop the polluting, killing & drilling of our mother earth. It is causing great harm to all.
Ride a bike, or walk. Take public transit. Good for ourselves and the world we live and breathe in.
As human beings, we somehow believe that the world is ours literally. Not true. What is taken from the planet does not come back to us in kind.
We cannot keep profiting from ourselves and others and the world we live in.Or our greed for more and more things that have nothing to do with the human heart and who we are as a species.  Love and Light.
If we truly want to change the world, for the better. Then we must start with ourselves and how we live in this world with all beings.
The earth is all of our home.
Let us live, work and share in harmony with all life.
-sadmonk

"Forever"

In changing I never changed.
In the ocean of life I remained.
Always moving, yet never moved.
Always flowing into you, I become one.
My love I always return on the wind.
In another form, another time and place.
What we have can never be erased.
We just start over again in life.
Like the tides and shifting sands.
Immersed in life’s fleeting pleasures.
On our knees praying to the heavens.
Looking for a chance to be whole again.
I asked the morning star and when I looked
You were standing right next to me.
My love I’ve been looking for you forever.
-sadmonk

I Believe.

I believe in you and me.
I believe in a green world and loving her.
I believe in loving everyone.
I believe in a middle way .
I believe in being a vegetarian.
I believe in riding bicycles.
I believe in hugging trees.
I believe in being free.
I believe in living simply.
I believe in saving and loving all animals.
I believe in peace, love and light.
I believe in friends and families and children.
I believe.
-sadmonk