Let's Fly

Lets fly to the sky, get lost be found.
Never once, not twice. I am a canopy of trees.
All the fish in the sea. Every man, woman and child.
I am you, you are me.
I really don’t know who I am,
I just see myself in everyone.
I live within everybody and everything.
I try to love everyone and get along,
In a world gone mad.
I love this life, to die to live again.
Within everything and nothing
And no one. I am.
-sadmonk

Going Within.

I couldn’t stop crying, the tears were uncontrollable.
At some point I broke down, why does life have to hurt so much.
I am the sadmonk I said to myself. I am supposed
To be sad. I stopped crying. I just wanted everyone to be friends.
My sadness is for others and wishing
I could make everyone’s life alright.
No more suffering and dying.
I have no time to be selfish and think about me.
I have to go and help others.
I will always be the sadmonk.
I care for everyone and everything.
-sadmonk

Dollars and Sense.

We cannot spend more money on defense of the people then
On offense of the people who are poor and have no more jobs
And homes to protect their families survival. No jobs, no money yet
Money to waste away on things that only harm us, others and the planet at large.
Stop and help to end the wars now! And put money back into our children’s future
And their children's future. That is planting the seeds of peace, and you will reap peace
In your people & lands for the unforeseen future. It all starts with education and jobs
That provide sustainability for all of our futures. Jobs that create things that help others,
Not things that destroy or enslave them.
-sadmonk

Miracle.

My addiction ends when I got sick and tired of being sick, poor, locked up and alone.
That was the end of the show. I got sick and kicked, I changed the way I thought by following the Buddha's way and in between I found myself, my health, my life, my wife and calling. It was a miracle.
-sadmonk

One Love.

There is an unbroken stream of time consisting
Of past, present and future. We have all lived innumerable
Lives together, we are all connected. I see us all.
The future is no different, we continue the circle.
There is no separation between any of us except for the ones we
Choose to love. Everyone knows that.
I guess I didn’t, I am stupid.
I have chosen to love everyone.
Those who follow also wish to live in a peaceful happy world.
All doors are open, love is not owned, it is Un-conditional.
Something we should give to everyone, Un-bound.
I know the truth and why we are here.
We are all one family, born to love.
-sadmonk

Pieces of my Past.

 

Another lifetime…
I don’t remember when it started or how.
A whole bunch of teens with no supervision,
No role models no nothing, no how.
Drugs was the order of the day.
We smoked the sherm, ate the speed, lsd.
Drank the ever clear, and smoked the weed.
What I was doing I don’t know, I lost myself.
A wounded young angry teen who lost his dad.
Lost his crown. Lost his head… went temporarily insane.
In and out of a penal system gone mad.
His baby sister dead at 17. In the ground she lay,
In my hole I was locked away.
All my friends dead, in jail and gone away.
Shooting up cocaine in my veins.
Was all that I craved.
My crazy days had just begun.
Feeding a habit an insane fixation.
A human pin cushion, a leper of society, no one said I could change.
Walking on the streets wherever I could lay my head.
Sleeping under bridges and eating out of the garbage can.
I really had lost all that I am….things were never anything to me.
No home only stealing from those I loved. Lost my soul.
How could this be, a young boy with no hope all despair.
I lost my mind, I had too.  I gave up one day. Just quit and walked away.
From everything. I wanted to live like others, work n play!
Just like it was another normal day. Please and thank you
For giving me another chance.
Happy and full of smiles.
Who was I just talking about?
It doesn’t matter!
Go live and play!
-sadmonk

Bodhi Day!

Everybody in life wants to tell you
What they believe is the truth.
They do not know. Only you do.
The truth is within you,
It has never been anywhere else.
Look deeply and you will see.
Upon awakening, you are free,
of suffering.
-sadmonk

*I wrote this today in honor of a great teacher from ages gone by.
The Buddha. Today we celebrate his day of awakening also known
as Bodhi (enlightenment) Day.
_/\_

The Buddha. PBS documentary.

 This is a wonderful story put together by PBS.
May you and all your loved ones be well.
_/\_
http://video.pbs.org/video/1461557530/?utm_source=YouTube&utm_medium=PBSChannel&utm_campaign=TheBuddha

Sitting the mind.

There is no you and I, nor others.
That makes us all one.
There is nothing to attain to,
No Dharmas to grasp.
No Buddha outside of your mind.
What you have always had, sits right in your lap.
You are already complete in every way, a Buddha.
You do not have to tie your legs and mind up into knots.
That is just another attachment to a form, not the actual laying down of mind.
Hence "just sitting"...
Just drop the mind that is attached to name and forms.
If you sit with a monk just sit, but know that you are not two.
See that your it!, what more would you need to get?
Your it!
bowing
-Rev.Yao Feng Shakya

Zen Paintings

Learning to open again.

All of us at one time or another have become hurt and in our pain we become sad, lonely, angry, depressed and we withdraw from people and life. We learn how to close ourselves off from everything and everybody. Sometimes this is okay and necessary but it also prevents us from living our lives and in some extreme cases can ruin our lives and others. In my suffering, I built my own walls around myself, it was of my own making. I had to close myself off from anymore loss and hurt in my life, I guess I succeeded when I really ended up locked away from the world. At that point I stopped caring. I lost trust in myself and in others, I stopped believing that I could ever be happy.  Back then, my life was just a real negative and bad place that took me away from my loved ones. My attitude was,
I will never let anyone get close to me again. So, at the worst point in my life, I lost all hope and belief  and in so doing closed myself off from the world and everyone around me.
What I have learned since then will last me lifetimes.
I learned to change the way I thought about myself and others, the world was no longer a bad place. I learned to love myself and others, this is when I opened up again. I believe that everyone I know is special to me and precious. Everyone is my family and I love everyone dearly. I also for the first time seen in myself this compassionate, loving side that somehow I forgot, my inner child.  We all have it, we should never forget it.
Life is too short to not love everyone and to most of all be forgiving of ourselves and others. Now, I felt this love opening that changed my whole life. I felt this love for the entire world that overtook me. I felt this universal love for all life and all people. I was called to be a Priest. My whole life changed after that. It was all due to opening up again and changing the way I think about things, life and people. Zen says to empty your cup of tea! Hehe. No joke!
Most of all I learned to stop judging others, as others judged me in the past. I care about everyone deeply. I finally learned to open up and fully love again it was the most beautiful thing in the world. To see so many people who just like me, wish to love and be happy and peaceful.
I also believe that others can heal from their pain and suffering in the past and present. Not only can being hurt close us off to receiving what it is that we most desire in life, Whatever it may be. But our hurt can also be our awakening.
Remaining open and loving while we have been hurt is actually a way to help us through the difficult situations we face daily in life. So that we are not closed off anymore, we are able to help ourselves and others. By opening up our hearts again we can begin to heal and that is when this universe will open up with endless possibilities. For we must know that we are only limited and closed in our minds. Truly our minds have no limits, or doors to shut and close on this world. With our minds we can learn to overcome adversity, hopelessness, depression, negativity, and more importantly just how to live in this world without going insane.
I know firsthand now what it means to open up to everything and everybody, and I also know what happens when you get past your hurt and pain.
All the things in life that have prevented you from your hopes and dreams is now within reach. Buddhism teaches us that this is all a dream, well I have news too, this maybe a dream but one of our own making.
Now you can begin to heal and open up once again to love and life. It is quite a beautiful thing when you realize that through your pain and darkness that you have come to find the light of your inner being and all beings. That now you can create your own world, your own nirvana or paradise. In religions they all talk about a divine spirit and I believe as does the Buddha. That this spirit and light is nothing more then our openness and willingness to love all people and things. That is when we have learned to open up to what we truly are. 
Love & Light!
-sadmonk

Awakening.

A spiritual awakening can come at any time, not necessarily through our
spiritual practice and meditation but through real life experiences that turn our world
and lives upside down. In this awakening we are called forth to
turn everything back around. Master Hua would say that in our ignorance is darkness,
and the awakening is the light that is shed on our consciousness when we come
to understand the truth. The truth of who we are and our place in this world.
-sadmonk

"How I turned it around."

I came close to dying more times then I can count.
The hardest time was my 2 heart infections.
I lived only through the help of others, family and friends.
The doctors and hospitals saved my life even the jails and prisons did.
I feel the only reason I am still alive is to give back to society
and others in someway. I have always felt like a parasite in this world.
Taking without ever giving.
That was the day I woke up. I am not the same person I once was.
I lived my early life by not caring about myself or what I did.
Sure everyone has a lot of suffering to deal with in this life,
but when I was young I couldn't get over my dad and sister dying.
It's not an excuse but just what happened.  I couldn't cope with my
feelings and emotions. I became numb to the world.
I got into drugs and spent the next decade getting into trouble
as a homeless junkie in between group homes, juvenile, jails,
institutions and the penitentiary. It was all my choice and my fault.
How I survived and came through it all is a long story.
I lost everything, my family, my self, my life,
I had nothing. I spent much of my life wandering around in a
drug induced daze.  No hope, no faith in anything much less myself.
That was when I found it all! It was all inside of me, I learned to believe in myself.
All I had to do was master myself and let go of everything.
I became an artist and sold my art all over the world.
I became a Buddhist and felt a calling to serve others.
I felt my heart change and I continually cry to this day at the
worlds suffering giving all of my heart, prayers n love to everyone.
The  point of this blog is to show you that whatever you set your
heart n mind too you can accomplish it. You can change yourself if you
feel it needs changing. In my experience thats all there is
in life.
I am not someone to look up to in anyway, but maybe you can see that
we all make mistakes and bad choices and yes do things that cause
hurt to others.The most important thing is to change it.
Old Chinese saying, "If you made a mistake do all you can to reverse it.
" I live by this saying. Most importantly never give up on yourself and
have no fear! No retreat. You are a true warrior of love n light.
The Buddha said a true warrior learns to conquer themselves.
Then to turn it all around and build yourself back up again.
Whether your world has been torn apart by other forces,
or by your very own hand.
My hands wish to heal and create now.
deeply bowing
All my Love n Light!
-sadmonk

My Past.

I came up out of the system and penitentiary, got off the streets and turned my life around. I never thought it was possible and very few people believed I could change. I did. I stopped being a junkie and cleaned up. Traded the needle in for a paintbrush. Traded my sadness and suffering into loving kindness towards self and others.
I stopped stealing and lying and hurting all those I loved. I didn’t do anything great or special.
I did what anyone would do, change there life around to good.
If I didn’t, I would have died and been in a cage for the rest of my life like so many of my friends. I pray for them everyday, I am grateful to be alive and free.
-sadmonk

Zen is Mind.

The mind is always moving. In Zen we learn to still the moving mind, otherwise known as the monkey mind.
Hence we meditate (zazen). To still & sit the mind. Otherwise our minds run away with us
and we are no longer true to ourselves and others. We cannot think and reason when our minds are all over the place, here and there one minute, gone the next. We cannot focus and concentrate and lose our interest every moment due to a mind that cannot stop, look and listen. Let us work to change this immediately.
Mind makes unending karma, to reverse this do not let your mind be moved.
Be still. As a Buddha. A mind that is still is not stopping, not moving and flows endlessly like a river to the great ocean. Buddhas minds are always at peace with all things. Let your mind be like water, calm, and still when the winds are not moving. When the water of your mind becomes stirred up by the wind (karma) you cannot see the reflection of yourself much less others. Meditating we look into our own minds and shine the light within.
Everything becomes perfectly clear.
Still.
Everything is as it should be.
_/\_ Love. Light.
-sadmonk

Stop War, Go Love.

We should care for everyone’s plight in life.
For everyone has to suffer. No one is immune.
No matter where we come from or where we live.
So I ask all people to come together and stop
humanities endless wars. Stop!
Start loving everyone and caring for everyone.
Most of all forgiving anyone who has harmed us in anyway.
If we wish to live in peace amongst those we call our "enemies"
then and only then will we have no more enemies.
For the sake of all beings and this planet earth. It is up to us.
We all have the ability to live and love in peace, equality,
tolerance, forgiveness, loving- kindness.
We cannot change the whole world but we can change ourselves.
In so doing the world will one day be a peaceful place for all.
All because we started to help others and stopped hating & fighting.
While wishing all good things for everyone.
~metta _/\_
-sadmonk

Hsin(xin)- Heart/Mind

My HeartMind doesn't separate people, places or things anymore.
We are all the same.
When you see differences in everything,
you become blind to your self, others and the world around you.
When you see the sameness of all. Your eyes open
And you can once again see.
Awakened.
That we are all a part of everything.
That makes us one.
_/\_
-sadmonk

Change.

We are the change we wish to see in this world.
Everything is connected. Change is all there is.
We must all do our part to live more simply.
I wish that people would stop eating and hunting the animals, and all beings from the oceans and planet.
The earth is being destroyed due to over consumption and greed. We must change this.
Stop the polluting, killing & drilling of our mother earth. It is causing great harm to all.
Ride a bike, or walk. Take public transit. Good for ourselves and the world we live and breathe in.
As human beings, we somehow believe that the world is ours literally. Not true. What is taken from the planet does not come back to us in kind.
We cannot keep profiting from ourselves and others and the world we live in.Or our greed for more and more things that have nothing to do with the human heart and who we are as a species.  Love and Light.
If we truly want to change the world, for the better. Then we must start with ourselves and how we live in this world with all beings.
The earth is all of our home.
Let us live, work and share in harmony with all life.
-sadmonk

"Forever"

In changing I never changed.
In the ocean of life I remained.
Always moving, yet never moved.
Always flowing into you, I become one.
My love I always return on the wind.
In another form, another time and place.
What we have can never be erased.
We just start over again in life.
Like the tides and shifting sands.
Immersed in life’s fleeting pleasures.
On our knees praying to the heavens.
Looking for a chance to be whole again.
I asked the morning star and when I looked
You were standing right next to me.
My love I’ve been looking for you forever.
-sadmonk

I Believe.

I believe in you and me.
I believe in a green world and loving her.
I believe in loving everyone.
I believe in a middle way .
I believe in being a vegetarian.
I believe in riding bicycles.
I believe in hugging trees.
I believe in being free.
I believe in living simply.
I believe in saving and loving all animals.
I believe in peace, love and light.
I believe in friends and families and children.
I believe.
-sadmonk

Zazen.

Originally there was nothing at all.
Mind becomes the ancestors wall.
Stopping outside and inside.
Light and dark, love n hate.
All the things that make us discriminate.
This and them, Seeing and knowing.
Wisdom and ignorance.
The mind awakes.
You’ve entered the gate.
Zazen!
-Rev.Yao Feng Shakya

 Zen Painting of Bodhidharma by sadmonk

Making Karma.

My life is mine. I must take responsibility for all my actions.
Body, speech and mind. I do not blame others.
Karma is my inheritance past, present & future.
No one person is exempt from this.
If we each own up to it, and reverse our wrongs.
Then we can move forward once again with our lives.
We must be willing to make great sacrifices and changes along the way.
Most of all acceptance that we are the owners of our present life.
This life is what we made of it, not someone else.
If you wish to be happy, be happy.
If you wish to be loved, be love.
If you wish to make Karma, be careful. ;)
-sadmonk

The Transmission.

I share my heart and mind with everyone I meet.
When someone comes along and recognizes
This we become one. The transmission of minds
Is not something special or extraordinary in Zen.
The mind and heart of all beings is the same.
When we know this it is called the Buddha.
Awakened. We touch our innermost selves.
The one that is connected by love and light.
With everyone and everything.
-sadmonk

Affirmations of Love.

From myself this Dharma body flows,
It does not come or go. My love is free.
Yet this cannot mean freedom from
Where karma goes.
My wish is for myself and other
Beings to not be tied up in selfish love.
Instead make love un-conditionally.
Love needs to be released to fly.
-sadmonk

$5.90 and a bunch of Ducks.

$5.90 and a bunch of Ducks.
      What do they have in common? Everything. I rode my bike down to the creek and there were so many ducks swimming and living together within feet of each other, yet never bothering one another and at the same time giving lots of space. So I was wondering to myself why is it so hard for us humans to do the same. Very curious indeed.
      Some evenings late at night I sit on my porch and listen to people laughing, crying, and sometimes screaming and fighting. I believe that we can all live with one another and still get along. I also realized after a falling out with my wife and leaving the house again and finding myself with a school of ducks that there was something here that I was missing in all of this. That sometimes we must have space to think about things and how we act, as opposed to reacting all the time. So needless to say I had to get some space so that I can think and get my head together again. While walking, hurt and angry at myself, I suddenly realized where I was at in my life. Kind of like a life inventory,  I decided nowhere and everywhere, going around in circles like my duck friends who were getting along just fine except for me and mine. I started to get a little dejected again, I guess being married and in a relationship for a decade and a half while pursuing your dreams and then seeing them crumble and rebuild itself again and again is something I don’t know how to deal with all the time. So as usual I don’t like to think about my problems, and I have to escape in someway, run away. I have been doing that since I was young kid.
     When I got to the store I realized that all I had was 5.90 to my name. At this point I knew I was not going to get very far. lol! I have been in situation time and time again. No job, no money, broke, hungry, wishing I had a warm safe place to stay the night. Somebody who cares about me and loves me even though I was so messed up.  These last 15 years of my life after meeting my wife and being adopted into her family.
I have been accustomed to living normally, feeling what it means to have a family again, and sleeping in a bed and having all that I wished for in life. Never being hungry, never having to go back to jail and spend another night on a cold concrete floor. 
     So in closing, it didn’t matter that I only had 5.90. Because my freedom and spending time with my duck friends are priceless. So was returning home to my wife and asking her to forgive me for being so immature.
I am blessed everyday that I am free and alive.
-sadmonk

“Everything is Mind”

Mind is emotion, so why do we let our emotions control us
And consume us. This is when we must understand that we
Have control of our minds (emotions). The doctrine of no-mind in Zen holds onto nothing in the mind even though we all still have emotions. The key to this teaching is so
We finally learn to have control of ourselves and our own lives while not letting others
And situations control us any longer. We do not have to react to a thing in this sense.
It is all in how we react to things and people in life. It is all my choosing.
The difference with having no-mind is in the letting go so we never lose control or
Let our emotions run away with us. So that we learn to walk through life and all of it’s hardships without crumbling, but remaining strong, like a rock.
We all have control of our minds, in Zen we have no-mind which clears our minds
From all the negativity. We do not let our emotions/mind have control of us.
We have learned the art of mastering ourselves, our minds, bodies and hearts.
That would be a Buddha.
The old Zen story about the 2 monks and the master observing a flag blowing in the wind.
The master asks them, “What is blowing!? The first monk says, “It is the wind!”
The second monks says, “It is the flag!” The master says, “Wrong!” It is not the wind
Or the flag that is blowing, it is your very own minds that is blowing all over the place!”
Stop it!
-sadmonk Oct.23, 2010

Love All.

Buddha did not teach some extraordinary truth or profound enlightenment to be passed on. He was not a god or superhuman, neither a perfect being. He taught simply how to live in this world peacefully without causing any more un-necessary suffering to self and others. He taught us how to love one another again and to see that we are all one and the same. Love is the key to all. This love consists of accepting everyone for all their differences. Equanimity, compassion, loving-kindness, giving, and joy for others happiness is the hallmark of the Buddha’s teachings. It’s the only thing I know.
Love all.
-sadmonk

Opening Doors.

“Learning to open again”
All of us at one time or another have become hurt and in our pain we become sad, lonely, angry, depressed and we withdraw from people and life. We learn how to close ourselves off from everything and everybody. Sometimes this is okay and necessary but it also prevents us from living our lives and in some extreme cases can ruin our lives and others. In my suffering, I built my own walls around myself, it was of my own making. I had to close myself off from anymore loss and hurt in my life, I guess I succeeded when I really ended up locked away from the world within prison walls. At that point I stopped caring. I lost trust in myself and in others, I stopped believing that I could ever be happy.  Back then, my life was just a real negative and bad place that took me away from my loved ones. My attitude was, I will never let anyone get close to me again. So, at the worst point in my life, I lost all hope and belief  and in so doing closed myself off from the world and everyone around me.
I changed the way I thought. What I have learned since then will last me lifetimes.
I learned to change the way I thought about myself and others, the world was no longer a bad place, it was a beautiful place. I learned to love myself and others, this is when I opened up again. I believe that everyone I know is special to me and precious. Everyone is my family and I love everyone dearly. I also for the first time seen in myself this compassionate, loving side that somehow I forgot, my inner child. We all have it, we should never forget it.
Life is too short to not love everyone and to most of all be forgiving of ourselves and others. Now, I felt this love opening that changed my whole life. I felt this love for the entire world that overtook me. I felt this universal love for all life and all people. I was called to be a Priest. My whole life changed after that. It was all due to opening up again and changing the way I think about things, life and people. Zen says to empty your cup of tea! Hehe. No joke! :P
Most of all I learned to stop judging others, as others judged me in the past. I care about everyone deeply. I finally learned to open up and fully love again it was the most beautiful thing in the world. To see so many people who like me, just wish to love and be happy and peaceful.
I also believe that others can heal from their pain and suffering in the past and present. Not only can being hurt close us off to receiving what it is that we most desire in life, Whatever it may be. But our hurt can also be our awakening.
Remaining open and loving while we have been hurt is actually a way to help us through the difficult situations we face daily in life. So that we are not closed off anymore, we are able to help ourselves and others. By opening up our hearts again we can begin to heal and that is when this universe will open up with endless possibilities. For we must know that we are only limited and closed in our minds. Truly our minds have no limits, or doors to shut and close on this world. We learn to overcome adversity, hopelessness, negativity, and more importantly just how to live in this world without going insane. To let go of our negative emotions so we are no longer controlled by them.
I know firsthand now what it means to open up to everything and everybody, and I also know what happens when you get past your hurt and pain. All the things in life that have prevented you from your hopes and dreams is now within reach. Buddhism teaches us that life is all a dream, well I have news too, this maybe a dream but one of our own making.
Now you can begin to heal and open up once again. To love fully again and live life for all that's it worth. It is quite a beautiful thing when you realize that through your pain and darkness that you have come to find the light of your inner being and all beings. That now you can create your own world, your own nirvana or paradise, In religions they all talk about a divine spirit and I believe as does the Buddha. That this spirit and light is nothing more then our openness and willingness to love all people and things. That is when we have learned to open up to what we truly are.  -sadmonk

The sadmonk

I call myself the sadmonk because I feel everyone's suffering and I know
that I cannot help save everybody and this world. I know what it is like to be sick and come close to dying many times and the fact that we must all die someday makes me very sad. Especially when we have no Idea when, how or why. These are questions I have been asking myself my whole life. To have my father and sister die so young and so many of my friends. To be locked away in a cage for 23 hours a day with no light months on end. To hold my family in my hands while they have passed on due to peoples carelessness and desires. That is how my name came about . I know that suffering can be overcome, and that is how my calling came about, and how all I wish for in this world with all my heart is for everybody to love each other and stop fighting.  To get along, be nice, kind and say and do things that only cause people happiness and joy. To bring everyone together and live and love in peace.
No attachments, no nothing that interferes with peoples rights & freedoms. No more judgments and hurt feelings. Forgiveness and care. To live not in fear, but in hope and goodwill.
With all my heart and being I have to get people to love one another no matter what. Everybody. That is my purpose. Peace.
This is what everyone in the world needs to live & survive.
If we cannot get along in this life, then which life will we choose? All the wise people of this world have been telling us to love everyone for ages past, present and future. The seeds of love we sow now is what makes our future which is actually right now.
How long do we not listen and just crave for
Other people and more money and material things in life? Not knowing
All along what we have in front of us, which is a miracle and a blessing.
It has always been said; Love everyone as you do yourself. Not some, but all. The world is your family.
Every moment of everyday I send my love
To everyone in this world. I pray that what we all wish for in this life comes true.
-sadmonk

No more likes and dislikes, I am Zen.

There is no difference between the person who works
And lives in the real world, then the one who has given up on it.
One left, one stayed. One hated, one prayed.
Some lose hope and others chase dreams.
No one in this world is more special then another.
In Zen ones coming and going is understood as not
Coming and going. No more ups and downs, likes and dislikes.
I am Zen!
-sadmonk 2010